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| Director: Griff Furst (2012) |
Even for a SyFy original movie, my
standards were still monumentally low for Arachnoquake, a film even more stupid
than it sounds. Set in New Orleans, It follows a bunch of bad characters played
by talentless actors as the city suffers earthquakes that set loose a load of
giant, fire breathing spiders. From here it’s an onslaught of poor acting,
beyond terrible CGI, dozens of continuity errors and just plain awful
filmmaking. The film lacks any form of logic, I mean, why go to a drug store to
get an inhaler when you can use scuba gear instead? Soldier’s fire unloaded
guns, baseball players hit spiders like a homerun (complete with cartoon sound
effects) and everyone trips over logs that aren’t actually there, you know, for
suspense. It’s laughably bad at best, and downright atrocious for the majority
of the film. Avoid like a giant, fire breathing spider.
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