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| Director: Michael Sucsy (2012) |
Another year, another RomCom. What sets The
vow apart from the others is that it has a reliable cast who give this film the
potential to be quite good. What makes it similar to other films in this boring
genre is that it isn’t very good. In fact, that's a colossal understatement;
The Vow is a mess of a film.
Centring on the relationship between Paige
(Rachel McAdams) and Leo (Channing Tatum, wasting his potential in another dime
a dozen RomCom). The film focuses on Leo’s attempt to get Paige to regain her
memory after a car crash induced bout of amnesia. From then on the predictability
sets in, and The Vow becomes a vile concoction of soppy, generic and
horrendously boring. For the most part the film feels like its progressing in
slow motion; mainly because it is. An excessive use of slow motion shots almost
tricked me into thinking Zack Snyder had made a RomCom. Scenes that have very
little relevance to the overall narrative are needlessly cranked down to a
grinding slog, a flaw that crops up repeatedly. What's worse is its application
during the crash that causes Paige's memory loss. We see her flaccid body launch
through the windscreen, chunks of shattered glass hovering around her head. For
such a serious event, it reeks of poor taste and excessive exploitation.
Although it sets up the remainder of the film perfectly, as The Vow is a
nonstop slog through endless clichés and terrible attempts to force an
emotional response from its audience.
McAdams, an actress who has some degree of
talent, doesn’t even seem to be trying here, switching expression from confused
to smiling throughout the films painful yet relatively short running time.
You’d think that with the abundance of RomComs that she’s been in that this
shtick would’ve been nailed down to a tee, but if anything she’s regressed in
terms of ability. While this doesn’t bother me that much, the very inclusion of
Channing Tatum in another soppy mess
of cliché that is the modern romance genre is almost a travesty. 2012 has been
a good year from him, starring in Magic Mike and proving he’s an able funny man
in 21 Jump Street. But much like McAdams, he’s on the saddening path of
regression, back to when his performances were irksome rather that enjoyable.
Tatum’s horrific monologuing is another one
of The Vows many flaws. He talks about ‘collisions’ (yeah, really) and how they
make us what we are. Only this simple statement is dragged out over about a dozen
lines, each one more irritating than the last. Despite feeling incredibly
false, it still isn’t as frustrating as the films trio of villains. As Paige’s
memory loss has caused her to forget the past 5 years of her life, she still
has a connection with ex fiancé Jeremy (Scott Speedman), the typical slime ball
that is as much of a part of the genre as McAdams is. The other antagonists
come in the form of Paige’s parents who, despite not talking to her for 5
years, want to tear her from Leo in order to get her back. These paper thin
characters are so obviously evil that the only thing they lack is a dastardly moustache
to twirl. For example, shortly after the accident, the doctor informs everyone
that Paige should go back to her normal routine in order to help her regain her
memory. Seconds after a fully qualified doctor states this, her parents try to
force her to go and live with them. The idiocy boggles the mind.
So what happens when you combine bad
performances, a lack of chemistry, trashy special effects, one dimensional
characters and quite possibly the worst script of the year? A mess designed
solely for those women who find every film in the genre to be ‘OMG amazing’
just because the girl is relatable, the guy hunky and they get some sort of
pleasure from being emotionally manipulated. While a lot of RomComs are very
similar, clichéd and predictable, only a few are truly as bad as The Vow.
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