Ted review

Narrator: No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit. 

Director: Seth Mcfarlane
(2012)

At a first glance, Ted could be mistaken for a family friendly film. It does, after all, star a walking, talking teddy bear this would also seem apparent from the film’s opening ten minutes, were little John Bennett is seen on Christmas eve, excluded from the group of children in his neighborhood, he’s not allowed to join in on their Jew beating antics (yes, really). Late Christmas day, John wishes for his favourite present, a giant teddy bear, to come to life and be his friend.  As our narrator (Patrick Stewart) informs us, there is nothing more powerful that a child's wish, except maybe an apache helicopter, of course. A hilarious montage chronicling 27 years, we see now see Ted and John (Mark Wahlberg), devoid of all their previously portrayed innocence. John is a slacker, Ted's voice has gone from adorable to manly, both of them with thick Boston accents surrounded by an even thicker cloud of weed. 

From here on, Ted has the trademark humour of Seth McFarlane, creator of family guy and comedy genius to many teenage boys. Some of the humour here is smart, funny and clever; McFarlane really shows he can produce genuine laughs with a kind of ease. The humour aint pretty and is very crude, but works well at getting the audience to laugh profusely. The writing is sharp and the jokes are constantly piled on, although sometimes becomes too offensive, and jokes about 9/11 aren’t funny, despite what McFarlane thinks. The quality of the comedy often takes a massive nosedive too; clever references and witty lines are dropped in favour of poor pop culture references. Jokes based around Katy Perry and Justin Beiber are stupid and bring the quality of humour down, from excellent to exploitive. It happens frequently throughout the film, causing stumbles, but recovery is ensured with side splitting scenes; doing cocaine with flash Gordon being particularly memorable.

The story about having to grow up is simple and generic, but just about manages to act as a backbone for the laughs to stem from. This is none more apparent with Ted trying for a job due to his slacker behavior. It’s essentially a coming of (very late) age for whalbergs John, whose girlfriend of four years Lori (Mila Kunis) is fed up with his constant attachment to his best friend, and wishes for John to make something of his life. The plot veers away from this later on, with the arrival of collector/stalker Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), who sets his sights on Ted being his newest prize. It’s here where the film completely falls apart. The humour dries up and the films climax is a dull and unengaging car chase through Boston. This is interesting compared to the remainder of the film, which descends into melodrama and  a pointless attempt to tug on the heartstrings. It’s clear from some episodes of family guy that McFarlane can write serious and emotional stories (Brian and Stewie getting locked in the bank vault being the first that springs to mind), but those worked as standalone episodes. By bolting this tone onto the end of Ted causes it to feel disjointed, effectively fracturing the hilarious core of the film from its contrasting final 30 minutes.

Thankfully, for two thirds of the film, Ted is a riot. Its undoubtedly one of the funniest films of the year. The laughs are frequent, the performances work and the story does just enough to give the comedy context. It’s just a shame that the writing relies a little too heavily on shoddy pop culture references and fart jokes. The ending is terrible, but anyone who thinks that Mark Whalberg, a talking teddy bear and flash Gordon doing cocaine together in a bathroom is funny; will fail to be concerned.

6